"Scotch and 'baccy for Santa and lackey." Fact! The basis for this wives tale is a little more than meets the eye. Leaving out scotch and some nice tobacco for Ol'e St. Nick will yeild a greater return on your Christmas request. Obviously true, this tradition has been around for many years and can be easily tested and proved. Here's what you may not know. Santa and lackey (aka whoever the head elf is that year) make dry runs all year round. If you leave out Scotch and 'baccy more regularly, your benefit is compounded. As it turns out, the Reindeer are really good at sniffing out good tobacco and single malt.

"The December pipe is a remember pipe." Undecided! The basis for this wives tale is simple. A pipe purchased during the month of December is one that you will be fond of the year through, and many years to come. To test this idea, I've asked my wife to buy a pipe for me, as funds permit, during each December month. I'll tell you this, I can't say for sure if this is true or not as I feel the need for further research is a must. While we have many years of research under our belt, this is serious business and needs careful attention. For now, lets call this one, undecided, and allow the test to keep running for another ten or so years before we draw any hasty conclusions. Yes, I think that's a fine idea.

"Spot three pipes a day to keep the physicians away." Fact! The basis for this wives tale is simple. If you're out and about, you're getting some fresh air and exercise. If you're spotting others smoking pipes, it gives you a good feeling. Like the world is a better place. And if you're socializing with those folks, your heart feels the benefit.

"A backwards smoke and three evening soaks will end all jokes or horrible hoax." Fact! The basis for this wives tale cure comes from walking backwards while smoking, followed by bathing three evenings in a row. Yes three in a row. I know, ridiculous. I was not about to test this one myself. I shudder to think...

At any rate, many folks over the years have been confused by the "backward smokes" portion of this wisdom thinking one had to somehow inhale smoke from the bowl and light their pipe through the stem. This of course only added to their woes. Luckily we have a large amount of early writings about this cure for ill meant hoaxing here at the Oom Palace, and those bits of wisdom point to smoking your pipe while walking backwards. The shortest amount of backwards smoking said to do the trick (or rather end it) is a mere 10 paces. Mind you this needs be followed by a bathing for three nights straight. This means in a tub of water rather than any sort of modern shower. Numerous tests have shown this cure to work perfectly well on mean spirited tomfoolery with less effect to good spirited ribbing.

"A Sushi pipe brings good luck!" If I had a dime for every time I heard this one...anyway, Fact! I will admit that there was a study in the 70s that claimed to disproved this saying, however, the supporting evidence was spurious at best. Here at the OomPalace, we've tested the theory on the unsuspecting and found their luck changing for the better immediately after being given any sort of Sushi pipe wether lit or unlit. Not all Sushi pipes are alike, however, the basic proportions and incantations are still available to most any pipe maker willing to investigate. Please see the O. Sylvester pipe named Sushi Vichu for a good reference on what a proper Sushi pipe should look like.