Fact or Fiction?

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Baron Olie — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 17:03:52 +0000

"Scotch and 'baccy for Santa and lackey." Fact! The basis for this wives tale is a little more than meets the eye. Leaving out scotch and some nice tobacco for Ol'e St. Nick will yeild a greater return on your Christmas request. Obviously true, this tradition has been around for many years and can be easily tested and proved. Here's what you may not know. Santa and lackey (aka whoever the head elf is that year) make dry runs all year round. If you leave out Scotch and 'baccy more regularly, your benefit is compounded. As it turns out, the Reindeer are really good at sniffing out good tobacco and single malt.

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Baron Olie — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 19:59:47 +0000

"The December pipe is a remember pipe." Undecided! The basis for this wives tale is simple. A pipe purchased during the month of December is one that you will be fond of the year through, and many years to come. To test this idea, I've asked my wife to buy a pipe for me, as funds permit, during each December month. I'll tell you this, I can't say for sure if this is true or not as I feel the need for further research is a must. While we have many years of research under our belt, this is serious business and needs careful attention. For now, lets call this one, undecided, and allow the test to keep running for another ten or so years before we draw any hasty conclusions. Yes, I think that's a fine idea.

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Baron Olie — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 13:28:29 +0000

"Spot three pipes a day to keep the physicians away." Fact! The basis for this wives tale is simple. If you're out and about, you're getting some fresh air and exercise. If you're spotting others smoking pipes, it gives you a good feeling. Like the world is a better place. And if you're socializing with those folks, your heart feels the benefit.

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Baron Olie — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:48:40 +0000

"A backwards smoke and three evening soaks will end all jokes or horrible hoax." Fact! The basis for this wives tale cure comes from walking backwards while smoking, followed by bathing three evenings in a row. Yes three in a row. I know, ridiculous. I was not about to test this one myself. I shudder to think...

At any rate, many folks over the years have been confused by the "backward smokes" portion of this wisdom thinking one had to somehow inhale smoke from the bowl and light their pipe through the stem. This of course only added to their woes. Luckily we have a large amount of early writings about this cure for ill meant hoaxing here at the Oom Palace, and those bits of wisdom point to smoking your pipe while walking backwards. The shortest amount of backwards smoking said to do the trick (or rather end it) is a mere 10 paces. Mind you this needs be followed by a bathing for three nights straight. This means in a tub of water rather than any sort of modern shower. Numerous tests have shown this cure to work perfectly well on mean spirited tomfoolery with less effect to good spirited ribbing.

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Baron Olie — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:33:53 +0000

"A Sushi pipe brings good luck!" If I had a dime for every time I heard this one...anyway, Fact! I will admit that there was a study in the 70s that claimed to disproved this saying, however, the supporting evidence was spurious at best. Here at the OomPalace, we've tested the theory on the unsuspecting and found their luck changing for the better immediately after being given any sort of Sushi pipe wether lit or unlit. Not all Sushi pipes are alike, however, the basic proportions and incantations are still available to most any pipe maker willing to investigate. Please see the O. Sylvester pipe named Sushi Vichu for a good reference on what a proper Sushi pipe should look like.

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Baron Olie — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 03:01:26 +0000

- "A balanced pipe, a stable marriage!" We've all heard this one. If you can balance your lit pipe atop your head during your vows (this has been interpreted to mean while the pipe smoker is reciting his or her vows rather than all vows during the ceremony) your marriage will be as stable as a manger. Fact! This particular superstition (as some might like to call it) has been tested 78 times according to the records in the OomVault beneath the OomPalace.

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Baron Olie — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 02:53:11 +0000

- The old adage "A pipe 'tween the toes cures all woes." alludes to the healing powers thought to come from holding your lit pipe between your toes. Fact! While it's true that this was an old adage, I've tried this several times along with many other testers here at the OomPalace and it has not cured the cold or flu. We do have a fellow coming down with something odd, so stay tuned.

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Baron Olie — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 02:52:15 +0000

- Granna was a mythical pipe smoked by Will o' the Wisp. Fiction! There's nothing mythical about that story. Just don't share a smoke with Will or it may be your last!

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Baron Olie — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 16:47:16 +0000

- A Hussar pipe (nowadays often called a churchwarden) offers your home protection from vandals, burglars and squatters. Fact! In each instance where a Hussar pipe has been owned, that house was free from the aforementioned problems when said homestead also maintained a security system and grouping of firearms.

- Dragon's foot pipes bring good luck to the owner within 30 days of ownership. Fiction! It often takes up to 45 days to see the results of a lucky dragon's foot pipe. Note: see Clawlera.

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Baron Olie — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 16:45:20 +0000

- A pipe covered in lettuce for three days then buried by a friend for five more in an undisclosed area will be the best smoker ever at the end of the ordeal, or disappear when unearthed. Fiction! While covering in lettuce for three days will afford a better smoke, the buring by a friend part was added by some shady folks who made the "buried" pipe disappear, then magically "appear" in their own collections. Be warned friend.

- The Pipe/Banana Promise: Years ago, the popular promise given for truthfulness in any situation was: Cross my heart with my pipe, eat a banana before it's ripe. Fact! This promise began as a promise between statesmen most often in land agreements and was then passed down to everyday matters of contract.